Spat
by glass sugar2.0
Summary: In which a certain elf comes between yet another couple...(follows I'm No Angel)


_Disclaimer: My imagination could not possibly fit Gundum Wing and Lord of the Rings. It would be chaos! Chaos! So I don't own 'em._

_Spat_

_In a haze, a stormy haze,  
I'll be round, I'll be loving you always, always,  
Here I am and I'll take my time,  
Here I am and I'll wait in line always, always_

_-Coldplay_

May 30, AC 201

In an apartment not so far away...

"Your mind is wandering."

"How can you tell?"

"Well...you've been toying with your hair for the past ten minutes. You've let your ice cream melt. And you haven't swooned over that pointy-eared pretty boy for a while."

Fingers, which had indeed been absently smoothing over and coiling random ruby locks reluctantly, ceased their attentions. The overlooked dessert was spared a glance. And the "pointy-eared pretty boy" was automatically defended.

"Legolas is not a pointy-eared pretty boy. He's a hot elf. There's a difference."

A disbelieving snort was the only response.

"Jealous, love? You know you're my only pretty boy..."

"Damn straight!"

The enthusiastic reply, followed by contented chuckles, completely broke the mood of movie watching and _The Lord of the Rings_ was abandoned as one soft, deceptively delicate form turned to face one solid and obviously male body on the well-worn-but-in-a-good-way couch.

Hands previously occupied with red hair found their way into long brown tresses, gently tangling in the unusually unbound mass.

"I don't swoon."

"Then what do you call the hyperventilating and glazed eyes you get when you see Blondie? You probably get heart palpitations too."

A pout followed the accusation but was coaxed away by melon flavored lips. Someone's tongue entered the equation and all thoughts of lusting after wood elves were forgotten. Until...

"I do not get heart palpitations. That's your job. Legolas just makes me horny."

A body, having just managed to cover the other, stiffened. Violet eyes stared incredulously into emerald ones.

"Who makes you what?"

The form beneath shook with mirth, much to the irritation of the one above.

"You know, I think it's the ears. And the bow. And the soft yet angular features. And the accent. Can't forget the accent."

Hands returned to scarlet strands before offering the final bait.

"He could speak elvish to me anytime. I'm sure I'd get the gist..." The tip of a tongue ran across a lower lip, accentuating the statement.

Vile temptress indeed.

Violet orbs glanced to the neglected screen, then back to waiting irises of green.

"If you want, I could always get some ears."

A correction was made. Melon flavored lips with the lingering taste of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"Don't need ears," was the breathless assurance against slightly parted lips. "Already cute, armed, and accented."

A moan of agreement was the only sound amidst the bittersweet soundtrack of the movie. Finally in sore need of oxygen, they parted. Nuzzling his face into her hair and inhaling the scent of mint shampoo and soap, the ghost of _Angel_ perfume, and an unfathomable personal fragrance, Duo Maxwell sighed. A hand stroked his hair soothingly while another searched for the remote. Upon its recovery, the movie was stopped.

"You want to finish it later?"

He nodded into the space between her neck and shoulder, giving the warm skin a barely-there-kiss. The body beneath his shivered.

"Just wait till we get to my Shannon Elizabeth collection," he murmured, receiving a slap on the head.

"Keep those to yourself unless you want them burned."

At this, Duo's eyes blazed incredulously at satisfied ones.

"What, you get to pant over that Bloom punk but I can't watch _American Pie_?"

"Exactly."

This produced more pouting and mutterings of "pointy-eared pretty boys" as the much-offended former gundum pilot sat up. He was given a pat on the back as one Katarina Angel Graceland Dawson righted herself.

"Chin up love. You and every man in the galaxy play second fiddle to hot, ethereal elves at some point in your lives. It's the little girl in us commiserating with our hot and bothered grown up selves."

Duo nodded, glancing at her rumpled appearance. He eyed her from toe to head, an action he knew would arouse her. He leaned toward her, his amorous intentions evident...until...

"Now that Frodo is a pointy-eared pretty boy. And those eyes..."

Duo groaned, and threw a pillow at her. A great battle ensued of such terrible proportions that Duo was forced to yield and promise to never disparage Orlando Bloom again. And he didn't.

Until the next film.

_fin_

I wasn't going to do this. I was going to procrastinate for a few more weeks, continue with my Gargoyles fic, then finish my Roughnecks story, and _then_ do the sequel to _I'm No Angel_. This is just a one-shot before the sequel. Kind of a calm before the storm. Really, I wrote it for myself more than anything else but now that it's done, I feel that I should try to turn the actual story out as fast as I can.. And since this is my first summer without any kind of work in like...forever, I'll be on it. Really....

You don't believe me, do you? Neither do I. Oh well. Till next time (when I actually lay down a plot).

Much love and Twinkies.

So Divine


End file.
